This week the whole sex education internet world was rocked by a new article declaring there is no such thing as vaginal orgasms, and that the clitoris is the sole provider of female sexual pleasure.
A statement which invalidates the experience of myself and thousands of other women around the world, as well as ignores the valid scientific “discovery” of the cervix as a female pleasure zone, capable of producing orgasm even in women paralyzed from the waist down.
There’s a few things that I find interesting about this article. One being that from what I understand, the “scientists” who wrote it are NOT even sexologists themselves, so most likely have no frame of reference for the actual experience of vaginal orgasms, and 2- they make absolutely NO mention of the various nerve pathways which feed a woman’s sexual pleasure system, and which contribute to the rich variety of pleasurable sensation women are capable of experiencing.
They also declare the clitoris to be nothing more than a “female penis” and reduce women’s orgasmic experience to be simply a parallel of men’s, minus the ejaculation of course.
But what actually triggers me most about this article, and a number of subsequent articles by other authors since then, is the compartmentalization of female sexual pleasure, and this “either-or” attitude, meaning- it’s either the clitoris OR the vagina, when in actuality, a woman’s sexual pleasure is MOST optimal when the entire mechanism is being used to it’s utmost potential.
In reality, the female sexual pleasure system is just that, a system, which works most effectively when all parts act together as a whole.
Yes, the clitoris is a vast internal network of erectile tissue, that has the potential to produce extreme heights of pleasure, and yes, the glans of the clitoris is the easiest access point of orgasm for many, many women.
But that does not negate the reality of the other 10 or more types of orgasm that women are capable of having, some of which stem from areas which are not directly part of the clitoral anatomy, such as- orgasms in the perineal sponge, anal orgasm, cervical orgasms, PFE spot orgasms, AFE spot orgasms, nipple orgasms, whole body orgasms, uterine orgasms, which are fed by the various nerve pathways, running from pelvis to brain.
These nerve pathways are perhaps even more important for a woman’s sexual pleasure than the clitoris, as each woman has her own unique distribution of nerve endings/pathways that feed each sexual pleasure zone. For instance, some women have more nerve pathways leading to the clitoris, others to the cervix, others to the anus.
And- many of these nerve pathways can be shut down from trauma, and reawakened using sexual healing techniques.
I myself had an almost completely numb vagina for most of my adult life, which has been reawakened to a become a vibrant, healthy, multi-orgasmic, “Center of Delight” by releasing my genital “body armor” through Tantric Healing Techniques.
The other thing not mentioned in regards to a woman’s sexual pleasure system in many of these articles, is the mind itself, and how our emotional/mental disposition are almost more important at times, than our actual physiology.
I have heard amazement from many women when they recognize how deeply impacted their sexual response is by their emotional disposition. One student shared that she was feeling particularly heavy and sad about a certain situation in her life, and she noticed that her clitoris (which was usually very pleasurable) felt just plain numb. It didn’t seem to matter how long or perfectly someone stroked that particular area, as her emotions created a layer, almost like a buffer, between her and the sensation. She later was able to process and release the emotion, and was thrilled to discover that all sensation had returned.
Personally, I find this debate over whether the source of female orgasm is located in the clitoris or the vagina, to be absolutely ridiculous.
Why are we not discussing the miraculous complexity of the entire system? Why are we not marveling at how all of it; erectile tissue, nerve pathways, brain, body, heart and mind, all work together to produce states of ecstasy and bliss, which are unique to the human nervous system, and which can not be produced any other way, but through sexual/sensual pleasure?
I think we do a grave disservice to women (and men) everywhere by attempting separate out the different parts of our sexual pleasure anatomy, and glorify one over the other. Very much like Western medicine tries to separate the body from the mind and spirit, and fails miserably, this approach of clitoris vs. vagina can only create more needless suffering and confusion.
Optimum sexual pleasure for women and men is achieved by understanding the entire sexual pleasure system, and cultivating it with love, attention, communication, and care.