Recently I had the pleasure of interviewing Yoga expert, Satya Kalra on my Radio Show.
We were discussing how the path of Yoga can improve sex and relationships.
One major point that kept arising during our conversation was the fact that the path of Yoga consists of much more than just the physical positions and exercises, (called asanas) and that true Yoga, is in fact, a way of life.
It reminded me of how I explain Tantra to most people- as being a daily practice for health and wellness, incorporating exercises for mind, body, heart, spirit and of course, sex.
Interestingly, in my tradition of Tantric Practice, Tantra is considered to be the highest form of yoga.
The word literally means- “to weave light and sound with form”, and traditional Tantric practices are first done non-sexually, (to establish a foundation of presence, awareness and focus,) and then later applied to sexual activity, for the purpose of using sexual energy for quantum healing, rapid transformation, inner peace and evolutionary personal growth.
But for me, as I have continued to progress upon my path, the thing that stands out for me most definitively about the practice of Tantra, is the aspect of “weaving”.
For me, the beauty of true Tantra is that- the daily exercises (or yogas) act to integrate every area of our life, so that there truly is no separation between physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, or sexual.
There is no part of our lives, or aspect of our selves which is separate from the whole. No aspect of ourselves which we are denying, or pushing to the side out of fear, or guilt, or shame. It is about embracing everything; the good, the bad, the ugly. Examining every shadow and dark corner, understanding the root and core of our suffering, and bringing it into the calm sweet voidness of our soul’s center, finding that place of inner peace, stillness, and uncompromising self-love and acceptance.
Ultimately, Tantra is the path of union. Union in ALL things- in our thought, speech, action, dreams, desires.
Union of our universal selves with the fragmented, disenfranchised parts we decided not to love.
Union with the voices in our head, keeping us in fear and pain, and running us ragged everyday with conflicting needs and desires.
Union with our body, and understanding the messages it tries to convey with very ache, pain, bruise and bulge.
And union with our true, infinite, unblemished nature– that part of us which is constant, never changing, and will continue to exist long after this body dies, and this egoic self is no more.
So all that being said- how do you know if Tantra is the right “path” for you. Here are 5 sign posts that say you are ready!
1) You are on a path of personal growth and you seem to have hit a “glass ceiling”, meaning- you are doing your practice regularly, but you’re not seeing much result, and/or, you still feel something is missing.
2) You yearn for MORE! Not sure what more looks like yet, but there is a subtle but persistent ache inside, or anxiety which can’t be quelled. You are constantly searching for something, but nothing seems to fill the void.
3) You crave tangible tools to understand the core of your being. All this talk about love on the inside is great, but you want to know HOW. You want a clear, direct, tangible formula for having inner peace, self-connection, self-confidence, self-love, and PLEASURE!
4) You want to bust open and live life out loud! You feel you are on the verge of something, and you want a push to the next level. You are looking for the missing piece of the puzzle, the thing that will bust you wide open so that you can live life with full confidence, fearlessness, and self empowerment.
5) You want to heal. You know you have emotional/physical pain in your body relating to sexual experiences throughout your life. Maybe you were sexually abused. Maybe you feel pain during sex. Maybe you feel crushing guilt and shame around masturbation. Whatever it is- pain; be it emotional or physical, is a symptom of trauma. Trauma keeps us locked into a limiting pattern. Healing trauma frees us to experince life as it is NOW, without continuously reacting to an experience in our past.
The key to “fulfillment” in life is essentially an inside job, so no matter what we are seeking- healing, transformation, spiritual growth- it all starts on the inside, and blossoms outward.