Imagine cumming without cumming….
If ever there was a skeptic, it was me. I couldn’t get my mind wrapped around the idea of semen retention. I didn’t see the point. I mean, isn’t that what sex is all about in the first place?
Blowing a load, busting a nut, whatever other phrase you can come up with to define the moment of ejaculation at the climax of sexual excitement.
That is what I thought it was all about. That is what all the porn was about, to be sure. I’m not saying that it always happened during sex, which was hugely disappointing, embarrassing, and frustrating. But then again, I supposed it to be more or less normal for a guy in his 40s.
That’s why there are all the commercials for products that might give you an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, right?
All the same, when it didn’t happen I could not help but feel that something was wrong with me, that I was somehow less of a man.
I have always had a pretty healthy libido, and no real problems with getting an erection. I liked sex and yet I found it hard to really let myself go in it. What if I didn’t come?
The funny thing is that precise thought was often exactly what got in the way of my actual climax.
Making myself come was easier, and so I did that quite often. More or less every day, give or take.
But even then I was so focused on ejaculating – on that moment of release – that I missed the mark at times.
“I guess I’m just tired” was the most common line I used to explain it to myself. Then it dawned on me that I was “tired” more than I thought.
Maybe I was just getting older, but it felt like something was wrong.
I am happy to report that something was indeed wrong. It was me. I was wrong on pretty much all accounts.
Semen retention is the practice (or art) of separating orgasm from ejaculation.
I had heard bits and pieces of folklore about it. I heard somewhere that the Samurai believed that if a man could have sex with a woman seven times without ejaculating, he would live forever.
I really only learned about it recently from a woman who insisted that sex is medicine. She was very keen on having me try semen retention, so I figured “why not?”
I was encouraged by the fact that she reinforced to me that fact that the learning process required lots of sex, which I happen to like. I learned a rudimentary technique to manually block the release of semen upon orgasm, and was told that with practice I could potentially do it without blocking at all. I was curious, so I tried it (on my own at first).
The first time I successfully blocked was – to be honest – uncomfortable.
It felt like having the most dreaded affliction of all teenage boys, “blue balls.” No kidding, it felt a bit like I had been kicked.
I recall thinking that I had just done something stupid, possibly dangerous. I was under the belief, strengthened by a lifetime of ill-informed sexual mythologies, that bad things happen when men don’t come.
As if semen were the prime ingredient in Dr. Jeckyll’s nefarious serum. But the feeling (both the physical discomfort and the subtle dread) soon passed. What was left behind is a bit hard to explain.
It was very, very subtle at first. A bit less “wiped out” after masturbating; less of the “I could do with a nap” feeling; a bit more energy to get things done.
And I was horny again within an hour or so. I don’t have a history of being a sexual dynamo. One and done pretty much summed it up.
On the rare occasion I could go twice in a day, so long as there was a good deal of rest in between.
Over the next few days, I tried semen retention again if not always with perfect success. (A word to the wise; do not release the block all at once, rather hold it for a bit, then ease off. Failure to do so can produce some results that are… I’ll go with “comedic.” Pun purely coincidental.)
It became apparent that after only a short period of time something major was going on. I was horny all the time, and I could easily go twice a day. Often I would have sex with my wife in the evening after masturbating during the day.
My erections were definitely easier to maintain, lasted longer and I was getting much harder.
I started to feel “in the groove” most of the time. This started with regards to sex, but quickly became true of all areas of my life. I just felt…good. No wait, I felt GOOD!
I have been practicing semen retention now for around 5 months. In that whole time, I have ejaculated a grand total of maybe 4 or 5 times. As I write this, that figure seems incredulous to me, but it is accurate.
This does not meant that I have stopped having sex during that time. Far from it. (If ever there was a “non-starter” idea for me, it would be celibacy.)
The times that I have ejaculated have been much more intense than I recall my orgasms ever being, but also notably more draining.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just a noticeable thing. Things keep changing as I get much more used to the fact that an orgasm is a different thing than ejaculation.
In the past month or two I have somehow broadened my orgasmic repertoire. I have “come without coming” and without blocking.
I can’t possibly describe the feeling other than to say that it is much more of a whole body experience than a strictly genital one.
My orgasms, both the ejaculatory and the non-ejaculatory ones, are now longer and intense in a new kind of way. And with the non-ejaculatory orgasm, I can keep going again and again. I have had as many as four orgasms in a single session, and it is often her, not me that is tired out at the end.
The impact of this semen retention practice on my sex life has been remarkable, but its impact in my day to day life has been almost unbelievable.
My body composition is changing. I am heavier now than I have ever been, but all of it is in muscle gain, since I am also quite a bit leaner than I was six months ago.
I feel notably physically healthier. My body has not looked this sculpted since I was in my 20s.
I sometimes wonder if semen retention is not a natural equivalent to a course of steroids (which, I suppose, would make some sense), only with the opposite effect on the size of your balls.
My confidence has gone through the roof. It is hard not to gain a bit of swagger when you can fuck all day, and all night until your partner collapses from sheer, blissful exhaustion, while you are still ready for more.
This confidence has carried over into how I carry myself when I walk, how I present myself at work, how I interact with colleagues and strangers alike. It has altered my whole outlook on life. That feeling of being “in the groove” is now all but constant. I feel like I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.
Semen retention sounds drastic, but it is an exercise in subtleties. There is another area that it is affecting, although it is very difficult to put into words. I feel almost ashamed to try. It is a spiritual shift. I can’t say much more about it because the blackness of the ink with which I must write the words can only ever block the view of what I am seeing.
A woman wise well beyond her years once told me that the orgasm is a glimpse into the eyes of the divine. I think I’m beginning to know what she meant.
Written testimonial by Dr. Christopher Erickson, Vancouver, BC
Find out more about the art of Semen Retention here!