There are a few ways in which Tantric Masturbation differs from your regular old “rub and release,” but instead of going the obvious route and spelling them all out for you in vivid detail, I am going to invite you to “try out” my newest Self-Pleasure Practice and see for yourself.

Then, I invite YOU to tell ME how Tantric Masturbation is different from what you have been doing up until this point.

I am going to start this off by saying that I have been practicing Tantric Masturbation since 2008, and my practice has continued to evolve, and refine, and grow over that period of time.

Most recently I had the privilege of interviewing Steve Bodansky, author of Extended Massive Orgasm on my radio show. He sent me a copy of his book in which he outlines the practice of Deliberate Orgasm, or “DOing”. (Doing is almost exactly the same technique as the female orgasm practice sweeping across the nation, called OM or Orgasmic Meditation, and is in fact where OM started from.)

I love, love, love the practice of Deliberate Orgasm, and have found this particular “technique” to be very useful and highly effective at keeping my sexual pleasure reserves “full”.  I blended the Deliberate Orgasm techniques, with my 7 years of Tibetan Tantra, to create this sweet and simple Tantric Masturbation Practice, which I like to call- Orgasmic Awareness.


Related Article: 9 Easy Tricks to Make a Girl Horny FAST!


I have outlined it here for you in detail. I invite you to try it out and let me know whatcha think!

1) The whole practice will take about 20-25 minutes, and I encourage you to set a timer. One thing I really liked about OM was the 15  minute “container” for the practice, which makes it more accessible for people who may feel overwhelmed at the idea of being pleasured for an undetermined length of time. I chose 20-25 minutes, because in my training as an Ishaya Monk we were instructed that it takes 20 minutes of meditation (or awareness practice) for the brain to receive the full benefit. Also- it can take as much as 20 minutes (or more!) for a woman’s body to reach her full state of arousal. 

2) Lay flat on your back with your head comfortably elevated. You will want to be naked from the waist down. Your legs will be open, so use pillows to support your knees if necessary. You want to be SUPER comfortable the WHOLE time. You must be fully relaxed in order to receive the full healing benefit of this practice.

3) Begin by placing one hand on your heart, and one hand over your Yoni (vulva). Close your eyes, and take 21 deep breaths through your nose. (This is preparing your mind for pleasure)

4) Keeping your hands comfortably placed, begin doing your Ocean Breath, or deep breathing through your mouth with a soft “ahhhh” sigh at the end of each exhalation. Continue until you feel very relaxed!

5) Add some natural, organic lube to your hands, and begin massaging your entire vulva in large, sensual circles, gradually zeroing in on your clitoris. Continue breathing through an open mouth and sounding “ahhh”. Use one hand or both hands, whatever feels most yummy to your Yoni. Focus on the sensual experience of your fingertips sliding all over your pussy– your mons pubis, your outer labia, your inner labia, your groin. Really feel the sensuality of your own touch.

6) When you are ready, begin slowly massaging your clitoris in slow circles. Continue making your “ahhh” sound, and breathing with an open mouth. Observe which areas of your clitoris are the most pleasurable. The right side, left side, top, bottom, where is your “sweet spot?”

7) When you find your “pleasure zone” change your circular massage to an up and down stroke. Short, fast strokes build excitement and pleasure, long, slow strokes help plateau you, or “slow down” the build of excitement, while maintaining pleasure. (I learned this tip from the Bodansky’s and it’s very true!)

8) Continue “doing” /stroking your clit in this way for the remainder of your time, never allowing yourself to go past a 9 on your pleasure scale (10 being climax, 1 being numb) Remember- short fast strokes build excitement, and when you reach a 9, long, slow strokes to hang out there in bliss.

9) Ding! When your 20 minutes is up, you’re done. Then you can make the choice to continue awakening your full orgasmic potential with the techniques I describe in  my book “Shake Your Soul-Song! A Woman’s Guide To Self Empowerment Through The Art Of Self Pleasure.” By this point you should be well warmed up, and ready to begin exploring the over 11 different orgasms for women.

OR, you can simply stop there, and go on about your day. Your choice!

Few notes:

1) This practice can be done as often as you like! I have been doing it just about every night before bed.

2) Use ONLY your finger for this practice. No Vibrators! See what happens. What I have found is- I have a lovely 20 minute adventure, and experience all sorts of new sensations, in my body and my clitoris. Also- I notice how much longer my arousal process takes with just my fingers, as opposed to my trusty vibe, so I get to really observe going through all of the various stages of female sexual arousal.

3) When your 20 minutes are up, THEN you are free to play (more)! I continue to observe how for me, 20 minutes is really just a warm up. I have incredible orgasmic experiences during that time, and they just make me MORE Horny! So when my buzzer goes ding, I am ready to rock the house!

I bring out my penis replacer, my gspot wand, and my trusty clit vibe, and rock and roll for another 20-30 minutes. Not every night of course, but let me just say- this practice makes my vagina HUNGRY for more…I think that’s a good thing….

Allright! You have your home play for some juicy tantric masturbation! Go try it out and let me know what you think!